What do you think?
I’m so fascinated by what goes on in our heads.
It’s been HOT and we have a pool in our backyard. A tiny blonde 5 year old girl came over for the first time to swim. She refused to go in without her mom and CLUNG with terror to her mom while in the pool. She screamed every time someone splashed her.. and pretty much ruined the pool time fun for everyone.
Because she was scared.
She believed she wasn’t safe in there.
As long as she was afraid, every splash, every bump was a threat.
She came back another day without other kids in the pool and figured things out. She realized she could touch the bottom. She realized her floaty vest allowed her to swim. She was safe. It started to be fun . .. and then she started taking risks like jumping off the side and making big splashes herself.
The next time we all swam together, she did complain about the big boys splashing, but she was in there without her mom, having an AWESOME time- laughing and showing off.
Nothing changed with the pool. Same depth. Same amount of kids. Same amount of splashing. The only thing that changed was what she believed about herself.
We do the same thing - ALL TIME TIME - and sometimes those decisions and beliefs last a lifetime.
We decide we know what other people think about us.
We remember what a grade 2 teacher said about our writing or drawing or character and we form a lifetime of beliefs around that.
I remember the first time someone (Bonnie Yeomans) told me not to believe everything I thought.
Mind blown.
Not everything I think is true.
Holy guacamole.
I’m REALLY struggling this summer with the heat and the kids. We just moved and then my parents moved in to our suite and we’re not organized yet. I don’t have places for everything. It’s not what I expected and I have a list of thoughts that are running my behavior.. thoughts like: “I can’t relax until I find places for everything,” and “We don’t have the money right now to buy shelving we need to put that pile of stuff away,” and the follow up “I’m not a good person if I don’t get this done..” And then other fun stuff like “I can’t do any of my writing while the kids are home,” and THEN irrational things like “It’s all up to me and it’s too much and no one cares and I’m alone and it’s too hard and I’m never going to figure this out . . .” and I digress.
Thoughts live in our heads unchallenged and then we behave in a way that’s consistent with our un-challenged, all too often un-true thoughts.
Challenge your thoughts. What is actually TRUE? Are you really stuck or is there a way that you haven’t thought of yet (or asked for help with)? Is it always going to be this way or could you say something and try something different? Is it really too hard? Is it really impossible?
Thoughts have an uncanny way of proving themselves true. If you believe it’s too hard, you won’t try. If you believe it’s possible, you start.
Healthy beliefs and thoughts bring life and possibility. Unhealthy beliefs are heavy and destructive and limiting. They are often so familiar that we don’t even notice them.
I think a LOT about you… You, my email friends that I write to… About moms who are alone with their kids this summer juggling life and responsibility and COVID stuff. And I wonder how you are and what is hard and how we can all grow to love ourselves and our kids more and have lives that make us breathe in with satisfaction instead of frustration. And I realize, what goes on in our heads is so very important.
Have a great day. Just . . . don’t believe everything you think.
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