I used to think life was BIG.
Big dreams.
Big future.
Big ideas.
And for some people (whose lives I am not living) it sure seems like their lives are big. I wonder what it feels like for them?
I’m the kind of person who likes to decide one day: For the rest of my life I will be a clean person. I will never make another mess. OR From this day forward I will exercise for 45 minutes first thing in the morning.
I loved making BIG BOLD statements like that.
I’m good for a day . . a week. Or 28 days. And then . . . And then I . . . CRASH.
Are you kind of the same, ????
So I started to wonder if life really was meant to be lived LARGE - I mean, can I live more than one moment at a time? Can I project something onto the rest of my life from THIS particular moment that I’m in?
I will always . . .
I will never . . .
Even statements like, “ONE DAY I AM GOING TO . . .” are incredibly easy to make. MUUUUCH more difficult to follow through and do.
I don’t think life usually crushes or fulfills our hopes and dreams all at once. I think it happens in little moments.
I’ve always always loved music. I’ve played piano, drums, cello, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, trumpet, percussion, harmonica and maybe a couple other instruments in my life. Well, violin for a very short time.
I’d start off strong and get above average for a beginner. It would feel really good about myself. I’d tell myself I’d practice. I’d look up songs and try to play them. Some too easy, some too hard. Before long a month would go by and I wouldn't have played my instrument at all. Add life, other interests, and kids into the mix and the last couple years it felt . . . too late. Too impossible.
There was no hope for me to grow into a real musician.
I found this infomercial (or this infomercial found me after months of me clicking on guitar tutorials) that promised to break music lessons down into meaningful, interesting, and useful little tutorials that lasted for 10 minutes. If I could play even 10 minutes a day, 5 days a week for one year, my skills would go through the roof.
I’m falling in love with this idea (yes I bought the program. I’m in it. Practicing daily and the kids watch me and it’s really neat to see them see me making mistakes and still growing every day) - this idea of small moments of intention adding up over time.
The thing about the guitar program is the guy knows what steps people need to take in order to improve. He knows what skills need to be added and in which order. He has a great plan and I just need to show up.
My inclination on the first day was do as many lessons as possible because I was excited and full of motivation. Which I did. And then I failed to go back to the program for a week. Now I'm buying into the "how do you eat an elephant" philosophy, which is, "one bite at a time" and going back almost daily to practice my ten minutes or so.
I feel like sometimes we lose hope because we have BIG DREAMS and no plan, and/or no one to talk or walk us through the plan.
I think sometimes we lose hope because we’ve gotten lost.
Life changes. Well, maybe life doesn’t change - but what we expect and hope and dream VS what actually happens . . . OH MY WOW. I have had BIG HOPES come CRASHING down because life is sometimes a beast.
But what if we built hopes and dreams one small moment at a time? What if we didn’t tackle the universe first thing in the morning, but instead we . . . YOU, , pursued your thing: fill in the blank: with a plan and one small moment after another?
What yearnings do you have? What dreams have died because it seemed like life just wasn’t cooperating?
What about a little plan poured into some small moments that you repeat daily? Or a couple times weekly? What if you let go of the time line and just started moving . . . and what if you don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do it perfectly, but you also don’t quit? What if you asked for help or learned from someone else?
When you stop to listen, what are your moments telling you? Where do your longings run to?
You don’t need to GO BIG OR GO HOME:) You can be right where you are and quietly, in this moment, do what is in your heart to do. String small moments together, one after another.
I really think hope is born in small moments. Little hopes - that can grow if you feed them.
Big dreams. Little bit by bit. I think maybe. Possibly. . . Yes.
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